can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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