I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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