um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
