ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
