Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
