i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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