This girl is more easily done than said...
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
