Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
