He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
