"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
