She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
