i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
