Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
