question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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