you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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