On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize