He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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