Screwed.edu
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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