u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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