I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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