Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
