Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
