Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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