your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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