It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
