Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
