I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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