dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize