I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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