The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
