Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
