he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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