They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
