drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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