look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
