Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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