PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
