Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
