i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I wish there were birth control emojis
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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