I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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