he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Randomize
