oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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