he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock deserves a montage
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize