Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
