I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
