She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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