i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Never underestimate the power of titties
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
