jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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