What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
