College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
