Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He shit in the fireplace
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
