i need an iv and a liver transplant
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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