Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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