I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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