so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
