I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My penis needs a shock collar
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
