i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
