Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
