I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
