i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
