im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
