Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize