I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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