Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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