She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
