I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
