just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize