I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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