I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
someone owes me an orgasm
is wine microwaveable?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
