My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
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i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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