Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
