I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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